two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
