No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
