you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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