I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
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