How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I want a musical about memes.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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