He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
