Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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