??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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