I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I am midnight drunk by noon
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
