WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
