normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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