Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
