Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
