I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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