Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
