i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
