I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
