you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
