i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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