so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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