I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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