I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
