No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
