as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
