all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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