Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
