he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
