Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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