I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
