Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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