Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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