i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
