Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
