I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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