oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize