you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
