i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
this is an emotional support booty call
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
