dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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