He disabled his match.com account in front of me
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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