Your mouth is God's brothel.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just threw up on my dentist
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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