so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize