You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
