i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
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Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
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Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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