That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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