So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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