How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
