A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
