escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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