I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
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I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
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he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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