she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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