About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize