conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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