508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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