do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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