your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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