You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
