ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
