So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
